Q. What is SROP?

A. SROP is an acronym for Smashed-Rat-on-Press. It was first used by Christine Larsen, to whom we are grateful. Smashed-Rat-on-Press began as a pamphlet series in the late 1970s, and continues today on a whim. Our first publications were on letter size paper, lovingly photocopied and collated by hand, then folded and stapled by hand. Today, we still have no presses of our own, and indeed no place to put a press in our cramped corporate headquarters. Some historical info about SROP is on our history page.

Q. Why does your page of Free Samples ask for a password?

A. Because you need to enter "srop" for the name and "srop" for the pass to get in. This helps keep out undesirable elements. If you want to know the history of this abomination, please see the Info About Free Samples.

Q. What is this "Xenopornology" I hear so much about?

A. Xenopornology is what we call the genre of the Martian Women series of books. The books usually contain a lot of cultural / ethnographic detail, in addition to erotic elements. The quintessential example of the genre is probably The Aerian Weaver.

Q. Why aren't your books available on Smashwords, Amazon, B&N, or elsewhere?

A. The short answer is that we're private, paranoid, and prefer to dwell in the shadows. For the most part, we won't produce manuscripts to someone else's specifications. We have our own. And we like to produce vanilla, lean e-books, so we do our own minimal formatting based on the original manuscripts. Any time we've tried to use someone else's tools to make e-books, or tried to upload them to retail sites, we have been quite unhappy with the results. So we do our own formatting and each one is hand-crafted. We also don't use ISBNs. (We don't find them of any use whatsoever, so we won't pay to obtain them for our books.) Therefore, some distribution channels won't stock our work, but we really don't care. If, by some miracle, someday we make enough money to cover our sunk costs, we would consider getting ISBNs to let our readers enjoy the convenience of shopping elsewhere. But you won't ever see any of these books for sale in a neighborhood store. (And if you do, beware, because they'll be rip-offs. We don't authorize paperback sales anywhere except through Lulu.com, and we don't authorize e-book sales anywhere except on our own site, with payments processed our via Paypal and Payhip.com pages.)

Q. Can I buy these books cheaper somewhere else?

A. That's unlikely. We keep our paperback prices as low as possible: at cost. And our e-book prices are likewise minimal. The e-books are typically priced at $2.10 or $1.00. (Why? Because on Lulu.com that produced a theoretical revenue of $2.00 per book sold when we attempted to sell through that channel. We say theoretical because we've never actually seen any revenue.

Q. I'm a blogger/reviewer/reporter/publisher/big-wig. Can you send me a free book to review?

A. No. Sorry. We have given away hundreds of free books, but we can't really afford to do that any more, so... If you're a bona-fide member of the press with a legitimate web site, we might consider sending you an e-book for free. But honestly: at $2.10 you can buy your own, can't you? It costs us much more than that to make the books.

Q. Why aren't the Martian Women series books available separately in e-book format?

A. Those books serve an elite, niche market. At this time, there isn't enough commercial demand for them in e-book format to justify adding more entries on the ordering page and complicating our lives. If you really want an individual volume, please see the ordering page for details on how to order "other" items.

Q. If I buy one of your paperback books, can you send me the e-book version, too, for free?

A. Hmm. Good question. We, too, hate paying twice for the same content because of changes in media—like when we buy DVDs of the same titles we already own on VHS tape, or MP3s of the same thing we once bought on vinyl and again on CD. Where will it end? Sheesh. If you buy one of our physical books, and e-mail us a clear photograph of yourself smiling and holding up that book, we might e-mail you back an e-book of the same SROP title. But we cannot make any guarantees.

Q. Can I buy all of your books at once?

A. Sure. Just go to Lulu.com and order them. (That's really the cheapest and quickest way; we don't stock inventory.) Oh, did you mean the e-book versions of the entire SROP catalog? In that case, maybe. But we would have to make special arrangements. And it would cost a lot. You probably can't afford it.

Q. Do SROP e-books have DRM?

A. No...

Q. If I buy one of your paperback books, can I return it for a refund if I don't like it?

A. Paperback returns are subject to the policies of our printer, Lulu.com, so please see their return policy (assuming it stays at that URL). Basically, if the order is defective, it can be returned to them. If you just don't like the book, we suggest you give it away or sell it. We don't feel bad about telling you that because nearly all of our paperback books are sold "at cost" anyway. (Also, did you read the preview and the disclosure statement before buying?)

Q. If I buy one of your e-books, can I get my money back if I decide I don't like it?

A. Srsly? Wait a minute while we stop LOL-ing. Uh, no. Sorry. But at least our e-books are cheap. Before you buy one, consider whether you really want an e-book, or just a cup of coffee. If it's coffee you want, try Orchard Valley. Or see our page of info about how to obtain free e-books.

Q. Do SROP e-books have the same content as the original print books?

A. For the most part, yes. The text is always exactly the same: we synchronize the content between print and e-book, and we never abridge books. If a print book contains maps or other illustrations, those may not be in the e-books; it depends on the book. For the Martian Women series, maps and illustrations are not included in the e-book versions, only in the print books. We do have a separate electronic set of maps to go along with those, because we really like the maps. If you are an existing customer of those e-books and you want the maps in PDF format, please send an inquiry.

Q. If I buy one of your e-books, can I re-sell it after I've read it, or if I decide I don't like it?

A. This is an important question, both legally and culturally. When you "buy" an e-book from most publishers, you are actually only licensing it; they can apparently take it away from you under some conditions, and you are generally prohibited from re-selling it. (This is different from a physical book, where the publisher can't come barging into your home and take back a book that you bought.) In other words unless you're reading only classics from Project Gutenberg, you don't really "own" most of your e-books, it just feels that way sometimes, until you look at all the legal mumbo-jumbo and the licensing agreement. At SROP, we believe that licensing your belongings from giant, evil, immortal corporations that own the whole fricking planet anyway is wrong, and has already led to the death of decent civilization and long-term cultural viability, not to mention irreversible environmental destruction and greed. (Aren't you glad you asked?) When you buy an e-book from SROP, we think you should own a copy, and be able to re-sell it, just like you would a physical book—hopefully for much less than you paid for it because, after all, it would be a used book (and there's no chance that it's autographed, so it would never be worth more than you paid for it). If you re-sell one of our e-books after reading and enjoying it—or because you don't like it, or because it's taking up too much space on your hard-drive, or because your mother thinks it's inappropriate—we expect and demand that you don't retain a copy yourself. After all, if you sold your car, you wouldn't have a copy of it still sitting in the driveway, would you? If/when you resell an e-book that you bought from us, you must firmly delete any and all of your copies—yes, even that backup copy you squirreled away on a CD-ROM in Mom's garage. Easy, right?

Q. What happens if I don't delete all my copies of a SROP e-book that I re-sold?

A. Shame and a pox upon you. If you're ever even tempted to do that you can be certain that our top secret toxic ingredient will rub off all over you and every square millimeter of your skin will start to melt and burn while every nerve in your body becomes hyper sensitive to pain; your eyeballs will turn into toasted marshmallows; and you will begin to undergo continuous, irreversible genetic mutation until you become a pile of disgusting sentient slime; and then you'll be eaten alive by parasitic worms while every nerve screams in agony. So if you re-sell a SROP e-book that you own, you'd better not keep any copies because after selling you won't "own" it any more, and that would be stealing.

Q. What can you tell me about AI use in SROP books?

A. The current crop of LLMs are not actually intelligent, so pffft to that notion. But in any case: here at SROP we do not use AI in any part of writing, drawing, design, planning, or publication. We believe the current so-called AIs are unethically created and trained, so we never use or consult them, nor do we condone their use for any purpose at all.

Q. Is SROP a real company? Where are your offices?

A. Actually, as you may have guessed, SROP is not a real company. It's just the moniker we use when we publish books. SROP has no staff—not even a bunch of boxes and a typewriter in anyone's garage. And our offices are located in beautiful downtown Santa Banana, California.

Q. Do you know the way to Santa Banana?

A. Directions to Santa Banana, for out of towners. If you're coming from most of the world, get yourself to North America by boat or whatever first. Then, from most anywhere on the continent, take US Interstate 80 westbound until you can't go any further without crossing the Bay Bridge into San Francisco. Bear left and continue south on Interstate 880 to Highway 17, and wind over the hills to the coast. As you come into Santa Cruz, stay to the right toward River Street and pass the University of California. (Wave hello to our friends, the enormous yellow banana slugs, but don't stop yet, you're almost there.) Continue for a few miles on Highway One northbound until you cross the Rainbow Bridge. Take another left and keep turning until the sun is directly in your eyes. Downtown Santa Banana will be on your left, past the grove of redwood trees. Take a left onto Insectivore Blvd and double park anywhere. Street parking is always free in Santa Banana, but you're welcome to tip any aging hippies you see. The town is cozy enough to walk just about anywhere. Be sure to lock your vehicle to prevent squatters from moving in, especially if you're driving a VW minibus.

Q. Who is Pansy Schneider-Horst?

A. Pansy Schneider-Horst (b. November 21, 1934) is a naturalized American photographer born in Devon, England. Perhaps prophetically, she was born on the same day Cole Porter's Anything Goes opened on Broadway. Little is known of Pansy's parentage or early life. She had one sibling, a sister named Violet, now deceased; one daughter, the father of whom she has not publicly revealed; and one grand-daughter, the musician Mantissa Etherbright.

Pansy first came into prominence in the 1960s, when she showed up at Andy Warhol's Factory in New York City. She spent several years in that crowd, making a name for herself as a photographer of detritus and urban decay. She visited the Soviet Union in 1973 and has travelled widely since then, but she always returns to her adopted home, coastal California. Her shocking 1985 exhibit Crotch was locally admired, but widely criticized in the press. She nevertheless acquired a large number of special commissions as a result.

Now living in Santa Banana near her grand-daughter, Pansy is still active in photography, and still develops nearly all of her own film. In November, 2014, her eightieth birthday was celebrated with a gala retrospective show at the Box d'Arts Theater, covering her sixty-year career. The show was widely praised and oddly attended.