E-Book Ordering Page
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Please read this thoroughly before ordering. This is our first foray into digital product fulfilment. We didn't really want to get into handling our own e-book sales, but so far we haven't found a retailer we can trust with our privacy, or with stocking and shipping precisely the format we produce. We may regret this move, so you might want to get them before we decide to pull the plug and stop selling them. When you elect to purchase e-books directly from Smashed-Rat-on-Press, your order is handled completely by paranoid sentient creatures, not by soulless computing automata. We individually package and ship things. This may not be very efficient or sophisticated nowadays, but that's what we do. Service will not be instantaneous, but it will be personal. The red "BUY NOW" links below go to our Payhip.com pages for instant fulfillment of titles we have uploaded there for distribution. Those titles and links are also available on our RED and GREEN catalog pages. The other golden button links below go to Paypal, and are fulfilled individually by small furry-faced rodents who live in our cozy corporate offices. You can usually expect us to send files within 24 hours after your payment clears through Paypal. (See Note below) If all of our delivery rodents are out foraging for food when your payment arrives, and your shipment will thus be further delayed, the butler will attempt to inform you immediately. When you order directly from us using Paypal, we can send the e-books to you via e-mail if they are small. Please be sure we have your correct e-mail address! If the files are large, we may post them in a ZIP file to a location on our website and send you a private, temporary link for downloading your purchase. Before ordering, please be familiar with our icons and our content rating. We cannot give refunds on e-books, and we cannot ship e-books on physical media, such as CD-ROM. | |||
| ID | Description | Price | Button |
| 24 | Diane at Fifteen. Contains both MOBI and EPUB versions of the book, for Kindle and other devices.
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$2.10 | BUY NOW |
| 27 | Fumie's Teacup. Contains both MOBI and EPUB versions of the book, for Kindle and other devices.
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$2.10 | BUY NOW |
| 73 | The Girl Who Grew Crutches From Seeds. Contains both MOBI and EPUB versions of the book, for Kindle and other devices.
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$2.10 | BUY NOW |
| 74 | The Maiden Who Turned to Water. Contains both MOBI and EPUB versions of the book, for Kindle and other devices.
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$1.00 | BUY NOW |
| 75 | My Afternoon of Squeezing Persephone's Pomegranates. Contains both MOBI and EPUB versions of the book, for Kindle and other devices.
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$1.00 | BUY NOW |
| 31 | The Typographer's Left Shoe. Contains both MOBI and EPUB versions of the book, for Kindle and other devices.
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$2.10 | BUY NOW |
| 68 | An Uncommon Surfeit of Lipstick. Contains both MOBI and EPUB versions of the book, for Kindle and other devices.
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$2.10 | BUY NOW |
| 1314 | University Press Pack. This bundle contains all six volumes in the
Embargoed Earth series by Kajolium Broadwick and G. A. Sprockette,
published by the University Press of Brnzklug Bafnerpolg. Both MOBI and
EPUB files are contained in the package. This product is not available for shipment to
planet Earth.
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$12.00 | |
| 1315 | The Washingtonian Pack. This bundle contains both of the
Central Washington novels, Diane at
Fifteen and Apple Blossom Dreams,
for a special low price. |
$4.00 | |
| 1313 | Artsy Illustrated E-Book Pack. This bundle contains two books:
Slightly Shocking Fairy Tales and
Grønthildå and the Bream Stock. Each
book is supplied in EPUB, MOBI, and PDF format for reading on tablets or
computers. The EPUB and MOBI versions in this bundle are "text only"
with no internal
illustrations, The PDF files are fully illustrated and identical to the printed versions
of the books, including the cover art. Note: these two e-books are not generally sold separately.
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$4.00 | |
| 1974 | The Epsilon Pack. This bundle contains all four of the
short books by H. Cogito Epsilon in both EPUB and MOBI format. |
$3.00 | |
| The Martian Women Series | |||
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| 1821 | First Mars Pack. This bundle contains both MOBI and EPUB
versions of A Harlot of Venus
and A Dancer of Argyre, for
Kindle and other devices.
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$4.00 | |
| 23 | Second Mars Pack. This bundle contains all three volumes of the novel
Ichresta, in both MOBI and EPUB versions, for Kindle and other
devices.
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$6.00 | |
| 5859 | Third Mars Pack. This bundle contains both MOBI and EPUB
versions of Slave Girls of Noachis
and The Aerian Weaver, for
Kindle and other devices.
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$6.00 | |
| 6160 | Fourth Mars Pack. This bundle contains both MOBI and EPUB
versions of The Voyages of Tezmitsu
and Two Princes of Mars, for
Kindle and other devices.
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$6.00 | |
| 62 | The Last Minstrel from Chaos. Contains both MOBI and EPUB versions of the book, for Kindle and other devices.
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$2.10 | |
| 6365 | Fifth Mars Pack. This bundle contains
Mathematicians in Love, plus the
slim sequel The Road to Edom, and
The Little Book of Chrysean Tales, in both MOBI and EPUB versions, for Kindle and other
devices.
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$5.00 | |
| 66 | Empress of the Night. Contains both MOBI and EPUB versions of the book, for Kindle and other devices.
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$2.10 | |
| Whatever Else You Need... | |||
| 0 | For all other single-book orders not separately listed above, you
must send an inquiry and specify which items you wish to buy. We
will tell you the total price, and when your payment has been received
via Paypal,
we will send both EPUB and MOBI versions, unless you specify which format you require. |
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Some fine print... Note: we will not ship books while payments are still pending or delayed in the Paypal system.
Sometimes payments can take a while to clear.